Creating ourselves

I was reading some of my last blogs, how intriguing. It is rather strange but on a daily basis we create our selves. We define our conceptual selves and delineate our individual boundaries. The Barefoot Wanderer, a figment of my own reality is in turn becoming increasingly more solid and hence impacting the relaity that once created it. Mikhail Bhaktin mentioned something similar when he talked about the characters of Tolstoy...or was it Dostoevski (it was)...and how he was a true master at creating a polyglot reality and that his characters were not enslaved to the authors will. I think this applies to us as well. Though we right our own stories, and I am a strong supporter of this theory, the more complex our characters become the less control we exhibit over there destination. A crazy paradox perhaps but nevertheless apparently true (to me).

This idea works well with complexity theory as well. The whole is more than the sum of its parts. It is impossible to retrace the steps that have created a human being (should the human being be an adequately complex individual).

What insane fun we are...bizarre creatures...

food, again

I was working in the kitchen today, making breakfast at nearly midday and thought, 'sometimes I just cant be arsed!'. Already i was thinking about cornflakes, toast and the myriad other instant foods as i was blending fresh tomatoes from the garden with garlic, onion, coriander and chicken stock for the salsa for the eggs I was making but it made me think. No! It is worth the time. Food is an essential part of how we live, of what we enjoy about life. If it was not for the exquisite flavours and wonderous textures of the finer foods in life the world would be just that little bit darker.

Eating. The sharing of food. The savouring of flavours. These are some of the reasons for life itself. If we take the flavours away, if we inundate reality with bland sameness and cheap sugar we remove the richness of life. Its not just the flavours either. The process is also vital. The patience, the tasting, the balance...it is all so important. I think it is a metaphor of life....

Life, like food gives only what is put into it. If you take the easy option, if you buy the fast food instant soups of the world you will only ever get from it enough to remain standing. We are what we eat in so many ways and hence a rich, complex and varied diet that is always searching for new combinations of flavours and realities...well what more can I say, life will follow.

To eat is to live, in so many more ways than we can ever imagine.
In life, take big bites, but savour every mouthful

Kiel

The bottle isn't empty. The night isn’t over. The song has yet to be sung.

He sat, tired and wondering aloud to himself. There were often nights like these - empty and mentally drifting. He had long ago given up trying to discover why or how, it all ended up the same anyway. It was best to just embrace it and try and ride it out. Maybe within the depths of his own sordid mind he could discover something true. A reality as yet undiscovered…he took a swig and sank deeper…

It had happened once before. The second time had been so much worse. The first time I had woken up at least three times at once. It was fucked up. I had been sleep talking and walking, not all that uncommon but she had been scared. She had woken me. It was terrifying. I had woken up, several times, all at once. I was me. But I was not alone. It was as if several distinct and unique individuals, all of whom were I, awoke sharing the same reality for a moment. It is with deep gratitude that it was but for a moment, as I have just learnt. The silence of my mind, the singularity that is I, has gone. I can neither forget that glorious reality from better times nor can I rid myself of the insanity that now clutches me. I am thankful that at least it remains undetected, I do not live in a tolerant time.

My name is Brian. It was a simple name given by a simple man, my father, William. It has been some time since I have been known by that name. I long now for that vile name I once scorned. The reality I once created now hangs heavily upon my shoulders. Kiel, my reality for these past four years, was of a strength and determination I had but dreamed of as Brian but his reality required every ounce of it and more. It was a lonely monotonous unrelenting style of life. Kiel never traveled far but never stayed still. His ingenuity and bravery were….